Ich habe genug.

From "The Principles of Uncertainty" by Maira Kalman

From “The Principles of Uncertainty” by Maira Kalman

 

The kids converged this week.

It was chaos and sweetness and refining and refreshing.

As is our custom, we trolled our favorite spots in town: the Mayes’ ranch, Dusty Bookshelf, Acme, coffee shops, and Rockstar & Rogers (twice). I was also able to introduce M and K to Good JuJu at Rockabelly’s, the water feature at Blue Earth Plaza, and Bourbon & Baker’s delectable shrimp and grits (can I get an AMEN?). Their visit was a gracious splurge in good company.

And as the second to leave drove away with giant pup filling the back seat, the bittersweet familiar of missing them and gratitude walked me up the stairs to the Hobbit House (Kenan named it so a year ago.)

I thought to myself, “I have enough.” Ich habe genug.

Though my home is smaller than my bedroom was in our old bungalow, it is book-filled and has enough room to welcome all of the kids (& pups), pals, and drop-bys that climb past the peppermint and flowers and in to the cool cozy attic.

Each morning run reminds me that I certainly have enough to eat; showers and coffee keep me thankful for fresh water, the 1,000 kindnesses and shared wisdom in this uncertain season, and the afternoon sunlight rippling through the overhanging trees are more than money in the bank. I have some of that saved, too, which helps in this seeking-meaningful-work.

I even watched two movies this weekend at the theater – something I normally avoid. 100-Foot Journey and The Giver reminded me that sometimes pain is a worthy price for hope.

Ich brauche…

Of all the love and generosity and laughing and peanut butter and chocolate in which I am wealthy, this week reminded me that I still lack certain “things.”

Gainful employment aside, I do not have enough time being still or with people I love.

I do not have enough courage to extend my hand when my heart goes pitty-pat or the sense to keep my nervous mouth shut. (I can say the dumbest things.)

Hope is at a premium and so is someone to sit with me when I’ve got to pay the bills and balance the checkbook.

A willingness to be willing to believe in the unseen hangs on by a taut thread.

I guess you could say that I need courage, wisdom, and eyes to see NOTHING or the something that I once believed grafted me in.

They say that admitting it is the first step.

A year ago, I wrote of “Scarcity and Abundance” on my blog for Adventures in Missions; it became one of my favorite posts. If you are interested, you can read it here, http://allielousch.myadventures.org/?filename=scarcity-abundance.

Still searching for the North Star (& meaningful employment).

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About allielousch

Engaged in everyday adventures and derring do.
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