One day more

IMG_20130925_092623
This morning, a song wove itself into that rising space between sleep and awake. I love it when music shows up to usher in a day.  It sets the tempo for the hours to come.

“One Day More” called me out of bed and it has already made this day better.

Another day another destiny:  Out the door with my bare feet, fuzzy white robe, and steaming coffee. I sat and watched the sun rise. Without warning, a flock of little birds flew so close that I could hear the beat of their hundred wings and feel the drawing swoosh as they passed. I covered my coffee and burst into awe-struck tears.

I would have missed it had I not moved outside with my thoughts and this song within.

I did not live until today: Yesterday, the Mayes kids and I drove to meet their folks at Lake Lovewell near Nebraska. What could have been a grim 5-hour round-trip became sweet. We voted on how to pass the time and listened to The Silver Chair, a CS Lewis bit of Narnia.

When we made it to Lovewell and found our way to these so-loved people, we learned that Dave was going to have to leave early Sunday to shoot part of K-State’s Homecoming merriment. I watched the kids sort out their love and respect for their dad and his work and their desire for one day more away together.

So many things we miss as we are not willing to risk inconvenience or disappointment.

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away: A long night drive had me thinking about my brother, Pat, who died so young – as young as my son is now. What I would do for “One Day More” with him.

How much I would give to have him meet Madi and Kenan. How much I would give to have one day more with him and his counsel; razz him about his “regal” nose, rest in his big heart, and cackle at his comic timing.

I do not want to feel the same about missing my sisters, Mimi and Deedie. I must change something. I miss them already.

The time is now; the day is here:  After sleeping Friday night on a couch with the giant pup, Frank/Francis, and a longish Saturday of driving, I was tired to my bones. Madi called in the 9th hour and laughed that I was already curled up in my nest and begging off to sleep. Kenan called Tuesday and I cut it short to prep for a pal coming to dinner.

Why didn’t I hang in there and focus on two of my favorite people for another few moments? How many times have I wanted one day more with them?

One Day More.

Most people want one day more. One day more with the people they love, on that adventure, and around the table of conversation and wit. Me, too.

Few people – none that I know – claim to want one day more at an office. Barring unemployment, most people want one more day with the people and the places they love and cherish.

One Day More to say the thing I meant and was too afraid to say to you
One Day More to hold that hand and listen to the stories
One Day More to hold true to what is in my heart
One Day More to run the Konza before running completely loses its luster
One Day More to share pbj’s around the table

One Day More believing in what has been scorched from my hollowed heart.

As much as I can, I don’t want to live in the regret of One Day More, but the love and anticipation that One Day More affords.

One more day on my own
A life I might have known

One more day before the storm
At the barricades of freedom

One day more to a new beginning.
One day more.

Still searching for the North Star.

Advertisements

About allielousch

Engaged in everyday adventures and derring do.
This entry was posted in General Posts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to One day more

  1. My sister Allie and I often find we are on the same wave link when it comes to our siblings, and often are surprised when as we speak we will share little things and major things. No, we don’t always agree on things, of course not we are people not machines. Tonight I returned her phone call and felt as if she were standing ten feet away instead of thirty five minutes away. Again we spoke of our two siblings. One no longer on the Earth, nor has he been for twenty eight years. It appears that this week we have shared feelings of our missing of a crazy, nutty, loving, protecting older brother. We also spoke about our sister Deedie who neither of us has seen since our grandmother’s passing a few years back. Then we shared some tears, laughter and some heart to heart true real feelings. said out of Love and with the knowledge that at 49 and 47 we could share things and know that it was okay because well we are 49 and 47 years old. I will be darn if I am going to allow my sister to feel like she has lost me. Nor am I going to feel insecure about inviting her to hang out, come visit, watch her youngest niece and nephew do things. I am the insecure sister that use to take, I am sorry but I can’t make this or that as a personal attack. Because of my insecurities I have made a person I Love and Respect feel as if I was pulling away. Allie, you ask questions, listen to the answers, you reflect, respond, and share your thoughts and more importantly your heart. I Love You and I am NOT GOING ANYWHERE! My beautiful Niece Madi and my handsome Nephew Kenan are a lot of things, strong, independent, loving, wise, forgiving, and they are givers…and in their Uncle Moe and my eyes amazing people who we are thrilled to be BLESSED by and so grateful they are part of our family. They learned many if not all these things in large part of you. Our family is so BLESSED to have you all in our lives. Search for the North Star!! I hope you one day find it. You are wonderful, you are Loved.

  2. B Fergen says:

    Allie,
    Thank you for the inspiration you have provided today. You are so right. We all have people that we would give anything to see for one more day. I would love to spend a day with you. I’m sorry our paths did not cross more often when we were living in the same city/state. Your gentle reminders help me to keep my focus on what is most important. Have a good day. You are special.

    • allielousch says:

      Brenda,
      I am learning to adopt the “I didn’t see this (GOOD THING) coming” mentality; who knows? We may meet for coffee and catch up. So grateful for you and your kind encouragement.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s