Crabby Patty (or is it Crappy Batty?)


Good Lord.
What a day already.

It’s Halloween. All day long and – for a globe of revellers – long into tomorrow morning. I have no real beef with Halloween, I just don’t like it.

It seems like a weak excuse for folks to get all tarted up or well-marinated and then to go make mischief…amateurs. I can make mischief without a holiday or beverages…whether I intend to or not.

But that’s not why I’m a Crabby Patty today. Actually, I don’t know why it is, but I woke with an attitude bigger than the Hobbit House. Follow this set up with a succession of bone-headed things that defied gravity and reason and this withering look (see photo) just happened.

Is this what non-morning people feel like each day?
I am so sorry. I’ll try to temper my morning tippy ay yi yay from now on.

This day has already been such a challenge that I find myself giggling about how bad it is.

So there is this thing called “meta cognition” which is an (objective) awareness of how one is thinking and feeling; it’s like you are a participant observer to your own thoughts and feelings. Years ago, as I was handed the ADHD explanation for my look-a-chicken-ness, there was also a gift, “you’re metacognizant which seems to keep you more focused and help you filter.” Who knew?

Days like today – being able to view my crabby-pattyness from another angle is so helpful. It cracks me up.
It’s like I’m at a table with my many thoughts.

Crabby mutterings just make me laugh (think Maxine). I can see them come to the table and giggle at their bluster and the verbal gymnastics that grouchiness can foster.

Sad thoughts: They trudge up to the table and sometimes, I can steer them to the kinder-gentler encouraging areas of my thinking and imagination. Sometimes, the whole table joins in with the sad thoughts and we do something crazy like drink an ENTIRE beer or two or watch a really sniffly movie on purpose.

Joyful thoughts: I am no Pollyanna, but a lifetime of looking for the pony in the “honey wagon” has helped me to appreciate the sweet small things, too often unnoticed. Sometimes, my own perky/isn’t-this-great thoughts annoy me so I can’t imagine what it does to my kids or to Katie when we are running in the winter wind at 5:30 am.

Anyhoo, at the end of this, I am still wondering what to do with today.

I miss my kids; Kenan’s birthday is coming up and his gift is in my briefcase – which may mean that it gets to him late. (sigh)

Thank goodness it is Halloween because I can at least excuse my pink chucks, ponytail, and all-black attire as my “Aging 80s Rockstar” costume.

I will remember the kindness of the man who – I don’t know why – stopped a huge line of cars behind him so that I could turn left and onto campus – making it to work on time and with minutes to spare.

If this is how many people feel on a regular basis, than doggone it, I’m going to try to be more patient and kind.

I don’t want to get cracked upside the head with some choleric person’s book bag. Frankly, this is just such a lousy way to accompany breathing. I feel responsible to help relieve this grouchy funk if only by genuinely smiling at people.

It is a revelation to realize that my outlook on life is pretty good 363-days-a-year.

I pledge to share my chocolate, pumpkin bread, table, and home with people – just to let them know that they have someone in their corner.

Realistically, I am not always prepared to be in someone’s corner, but I will give it my best shot.

Thank You for all of the grace and love that you freely offer up. You inspire me to want to be kinder, more aware, and engaged.

Anyhoo, it’s Halloween. And despite the gore and tartiness people bring to it, folks are offering free Reeses. Enjoy them.

Still searching for the North Star.



About allielousch

Engaged in everyday adventures and derring do.
This entry was posted in Frydays and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Crabby Patty (or is it Crappy Batty?)

  1. Seth Barnes says:

    a “metacognizant” – yeah you are. your inner Allie is always narrating your life to yourself as you live it. Kind of a 3rd person omniscient perspective of your own EdTV show. I can relate.

  2. allielousch says:

    Then I’ll take it that I’m in good company. It serves both the help moderate thought & action, but can drive me bonkers at times.

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